Joseph: you’re gorgeous when you blush. like a wild flower.
Georgette: [shaking head] it’s my dyspepsia.

-Amelie

Sometimes it’s like this. Where ailments morph into delusions and perception becomes reality. Or, the other way around and around. Today, especially.

Self-diagnosed hypochondriac with a mean, mean cold.  Symptoms include brain leakage and interruptuping cow-coughs. Remedies such as water bottle nasal irrigation, snail shaped humidifers, and overdosages of diphenhydramine may assist in easing symptoms however you should ask your doctor for a golden neti pot with a rainbow coming out of it if symptoms persist.

Put together this optimistically long list of resolutions but scrapped them all and decided on the following:

Be honest and sincere. Trust and commit.

That is all. That is everything.